The Beginning

I got my first credit card in grad school.
I bought this beyond beautiful, beyond fancy, blue and white road bike for tooling around the local rail trails, and I was convinced that I needed this bike to start up what would be a lifelong habit of cycling miles upon miles every week and toning up my non-existent calf muscles to an impressive hulk. This bike spoke to me. Its metallic blue sheen glistened in the show room. I wanted it. I needed to have its swankiness, its impressive build...I wanted to show off on the trail. I knew it would attract gazes, and I just knew I had to have that bike in order to accomplish my goals.
I just knew it.
Problem was, I couldn't afford it.
I had non-existent credit at that point in time, and was starting my second job, teaching freshman composition at a local big-name university. I was feeling like a big shot, and a big shot needed things to reflect such a haughty status as "graduate teaching assistant." (Cough. Yeah, I know.)
So, since I didn't have credit, and felt I needed credit to function in life, and besides, it was a "same as cash" deal for 6 months and of COURSE I'd pay it off quickly, I applied for that credit card, and that four figure bike was mine.
It took me three years to pay off that bike. At the end of things, I paid off three times what it was worth via interest, had stopped riding it two years before, and sold it for a pittance of what I actually paid for it. I was married and had a child by the time it was finally paid off.
Lesson learned, right?
Several credit cards, five figure credit card debt, monthly bill juggling, and countless loans and a mortgage later, we're living pay check to pay check on an income that, quite honestly, we SHOULDN'T be having to struggle on. And because of my need to have newer and better things, I feel like a large majority of this situation is MY fault. Not to mention, we have one child, another on the way, and I'm down an income because with a new baby coming, I needed to quit my part time teaching job in the evenings.
There are some things that I *am* good at--I am excellent at clearance shopping and getting brand name items for thrift store prices. I work Freecycle to its advantage. And my "claim to fame" is grocery shopping. We live on a $300 a month grocery budget for 3.5 people per month, without using coupons. We are NOT "Extreme Couponers," and I HATE that show and what it portrays/conveys--we shop around, buy in bulk, buy local when possible, and shop sales. I'm not a total wretch when it comes to finances. I have things I can build upon.
I'm starting this blog for a number of reasons--I want accountability. I'm tired of losing sleep, failing at goals, juggling bills, dealing with creditors, accumulating more and more debt, failing my husband and family. I want others like me to see the day to day struggles of debt and budgeting and learn from me. I want to share what I DO know--I happen to think that I am an A-one kind of shopper (as long as I remember to use cash) and have useful and unique strategies. I want people to see what works and what doesn't when you're forced to go down to one income and know you don't have enough $$ to cover all your debts/expenses.
I want to share my story, what I know, what I struggle with, what works, and what doesn't. I need this, and hopefully, someone else does, too.
I need to "save" myself and "save" my family. I know how. I just need to *do* it. Here's my start.