Well, we have officially entered the land of one income....
It didn't sting so hard at first because we had the hubby's summer bonus to work with, but, like everything, it gets spent fast. Once we had a pay cycle without two paychecks, I went to work like I always do, spending money we probably should be watching more carefully, and juggling bills.
For those who don't know me, I am very pregnant at the moment, and the other night, I wondered if I might be going into preterm labor, which is a pretty good way of snapping someone into reality when they need smacked with a figurative "spiritual 2 x 4," as my mom so eloquently describes it. Here I am, a life dominated by flashing red "PAST DUE" signs on nearly all aspects of my financial life, juggling bills, spending money needlessly, and all at the same time, waiting to bring a life in the world that is going to depend on me and my husband to provide for her well-being. We already have one child, and now we're going to two. What kind of example am I if they see me putting fast food and little purchases here and there in front of them? When will it end? When will I be able to spend ONE DAY not worrying about a past due bill?
I talked to my husband a bit about this last night--I struggle so much with relinquishing control of our financial situation--partly because I think I can fix it, partly because I struggle with trusting others, partly because I am ashamed to have someone else see the extent of my mistakes, and partly because I feel overwhelmed by the monumental task in front of me, and I think it's easier to keep on doing what you're doing when you're afraid than taking the steps to fix it (i.e. making changes).
SO, my husband, who has asked me to create a family bill list for, oh, months now, asked me to do so again, and I put it together this morning...a list of bills (rudimentary, but something we can spring from), due dates, and when I actually get around paying them (i.e. my juggling plan). It was hard to do...it was hard to say, "Here's just how badly I juggle bills. Here's how often I live my life in a state of lateness." But, I did it. I also called a local church counseling service and started the process to see her (we saw another counselor, not from our church, who was a great guy, but didn't offer us any advice as to how to PROGRESS...we felt he wanted more to talk), and I intend to ceremoniously cut up ONE of my credit cards tonight (no small feat for me).
I need to remember to be grateful. I need to remind myself that there are people who are MONTHS behind on their payments, not just a couple weeks, people who are losing their homes, declaring bankruptcy and the like. We're not there. But I never want to be. I never want to look back and see a house full of "stuff" and empty fast food wrappers in the trash, and wonder if I will lose that house, whether I have to basically get a government bailout to erase my mistakes instead of conquering them myself, whether my children will learn the same crappy habits I have. I don't want that. I want to be able to sleep at night, to be grateful for small things instead of comparing myself to others and what they have.
It won't be easy. It won't miraculously erase my debt right this second, it won't make bills current ASAP, and that's hard for someone who wants things done RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND...100% or not at all. But, it's a start. Every day, I need to strive to make more and more progress. And every day, I need to be grateful that things aren't worse, and that I can keep it that way.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Gratitude
This entry will likely be a short one because I get to head out of town with the hubby today, but I was doing a bit of thinking about this blog, and the loss of my part-time job, and trying to make ends meet, and preparing for the new baby, and I realized that I have been focusing an awful lot on what we don't have instead of what we do have. I think this transition period in our lives would best be met with "an attitude of gratitude," to use that really cheesy expression you hear in Sunday School classes, because when I focus on what we do have and what we can do, it makes you worry less about what you can't do and what you don't have. I'll write more on this subject later, but tackle this week with more gratitude and thankfulness in your hearts--here's hoping I can do the same!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Down to One
So, here we are, Mama is officially unemployed, more than likely until January, when the spring semester starts. Which means we are also officially down an income.
Granted, I make essentially grunt labor, part time wages, but the loss is still a loss. And we went from using that income as "extra money," to using it to make ends meet.
Needless to say, it hurts.
I don't want to think about going back to work right now. I don't want to think about being forced into HAVING to juggle bills. I don't want to perpetually be "in the red." I want to process the arrival of the new member of our family, and getting ready, and relishing the last few months of my final pregnancy.
But, I can't help it. I think about this all of the time. I ask, all of the time, what are we going to do?
You can look up "tips" all day long online. It's all about the same. Cut expenses, eat out less, get out of debt, save for a rainy day, etc. But, how do you get out of debt, or save, when you don't have any extra to do this to start with? What if the only thing I can process is, "We don't have enough money?"
We're not horrendously "in the red." Probably a couple hundred bucks a check, in the end. But, it's still going to hurt. It's still going to mean juggling bills and being past due, which I want to stop. I feel like I have all of these goals for the future and our finances, and they have to be put off, and I still have to keep up with old habits in order to survive.
I know I need to have faith. I know that there will be good cycles and bad. I also know that with a new baby in the family, I won't have time to spend as much $$$. I know that there are people willing to help us make good decisions along the way. But it's still scary, and it's still hard, and we're only losing a small portion of our income. How do others make it when they lose their family's main income?
Here's hoping along the way I can learn something and pass it on.
Granted, I make essentially grunt labor, part time wages, but the loss is still a loss. And we went from using that income as "extra money," to using it to make ends meet.
Needless to say, it hurts.
I don't want to think about going back to work right now. I don't want to think about being forced into HAVING to juggle bills. I don't want to perpetually be "in the red." I want to process the arrival of the new member of our family, and getting ready, and relishing the last few months of my final pregnancy.
But, I can't help it. I think about this all of the time. I ask, all of the time, what are we going to do?
You can look up "tips" all day long online. It's all about the same. Cut expenses, eat out less, get out of debt, save for a rainy day, etc. But, how do you get out of debt, or save, when you don't have any extra to do this to start with? What if the only thing I can process is, "We don't have enough money?"
We're not horrendously "in the red." Probably a couple hundred bucks a check, in the end. But, it's still going to hurt. It's still going to mean juggling bills and being past due, which I want to stop. I feel like I have all of these goals for the future and our finances, and they have to be put off, and I still have to keep up with old habits in order to survive.
I know I need to have faith. I know that there will be good cycles and bad. I also know that with a new baby in the family, I won't have time to spend as much $$$. I know that there are people willing to help us make good decisions along the way. But it's still scary, and it's still hard, and we're only losing a small portion of our income. How do others make it when they lose their family's main income?
Here's hoping along the way I can learn something and pass it on.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
"Bulk"-ing Up Your Food Storage, and Your Grocery Budget's Power
OK, so this blog doesn't take a turn into a novel on how much I think I suck at life, there are some things I am good at that my husband believes I need to share. Since I can't do them all at once, I'll do one at a time, and today, the thing on my mind (especially needing to cut down our budget) is grocery shopping.
I am NOT a couponer (I'll save that for another entry). But, I can feed our family on anywhere from $250-$400 a month, depending on the month, and this includes keeping a freezer chock FULL of meat, bulk food storage, loads of things on hand that enable me to bake whatever I want, usually, on a whim. We're not talking a bare bones budget. And I've had a lot of people ask me how I do it, and there's no way I can compile it into one entry, so I'll start with one thing that works for us, and occasionally add more to the blog as time goes on.
One of our favorite "tricks" is bulk shopping. Whether it be at a warehouse store, a local butcher, or the normal grocery store--there are certain items that are significantly cheaper to buy in bulk. HOWEVER, that being said, some times, it can cost you too much money and becomes wasteful if you do like we did once and buy a gallon of mayo you never actually use. It has to be items that you 1) use, and 2) are cheaper in the end in bulk--which means, you either need someone good at math with you in your shopping, or you're doing research/carrying a calculator with you. BUT, as someone who does all that, suck up the pride, whip out the pad and paper, and save some bucks in store.
Some suggestions for items to buy in bulk:
-25 lb. bags of flour or sugar. MUCH cheaper this way, and you can put them into an air tight bucket with a snap lid. Saves a TON of money this way, and you have it on hand in those times where you really want to bake something good.
-Honey. We buy our honey from local apiaries. Much cheaper than the cute little teddy bear jars. We pay about $7 for a few pounds of HOMEGROWN honey. Woot.
-Meat. If you have a freezer, and you use a lot of meat, this is for you. We buy from a local butcher, and the higher quality meat is actually cheaper than the cheap-o meat at the grocery store. Tip: buy only the meats you use regularly. We have about 10-15 pounds of bacon right now, and I learned really quickly, we don't use that much. It might end up going to waste. Frozen meat never expires in theory, but it can lose quality after a while. The USDA has guidelines for this.
-Cereal. If you have little ones, and the cereal is on sale, why not? We have about 6 boxes on hand at a time. We can also use it for snacks for our son, and not just as breakfast food. Cereal is often on sale if you buy 3-4 at a time, and this is one of the items I do admit to occasionally using a coupon on.
-Spices/baking powders, etc. Find a store in your area that sells spices in clear bulk containers. You would not believe the price difference in buying spices in bulk, especially the ones you use the most often. Can often save several dollars. Warehouse stores are good for this, too.
-Pasta. Doesn't go bad easily, and often on sale. Pasta is one of those staples that is good to have a lot on hand. You can buy big bags at places like Sam's Club...like 5 lbs. of macaroni for $5, or you can stock up during 10 for $10 sales at your grocery store.
-Canned goods you USE. Warehouse stores are exceptional in this capacity and allow you the luxury of having favorite brand names for the price of generics. Discount grocers can be good in this area, too.
-Pasta sauces/pizza sauces. Same as above. Grocery stores offer the best sales on these. Make sure you find a brand you like...I tend to be a bit pickier about my sauces, but that's just me.
-Paper goods. GO TO WAREHOUSE STORES FOR THIS. My butt now only accepts Charmin toilet paper, thank you very much, and thanks to Sam's Club, I get a ton of it for several bucks less in the end than at the normal grocery store.
-Ice cream (if you have a large freezer). It goes on sale a lot, and having a tub in the freezer can keep you from Dairy Queen in a pinch. Stores often offer sales if you buy 2 or 3 at a time, too, and ice cream is often BOGO free.
-Cheeses. Cheese freezes well, especially when shredded. Buy this at warehouse stores. Split the big bags into smaller freezer bags and freeze--then take out a couple cups at a time if needed.
-Bread. You can freeze loaves of bread for a couple months. Nice to have on hand in a sandwich emergency or when you are desperate for French toast.
-Macaroni and cheese boxes. Much cheaper, nearly anywhere, to buy the bulk packages. Comparison price if unsure about this. Also, brand name in bulk is often cheaper than generics.
-Brown sugar. I should have mentioned this earlier. You can't often find it in 25 lb. bags, but you can find 7-10 pound bags at warehouse stores, and it FREEZES WELL. It thaws in a short amount of time on a counter. I LOVE this trick.
-Tubs of sour cream and margarine. A good deal found at Sam's Club and Costco, if you use enough to justify it.
-Trash bags. Big boxes at warehouse stores (or places like Lowe's) save big money.
-Diapers and wipes. If you have little ones, trust me--buy the big boxes of these. Cheaper, and buying these in the middle of the night = no fun for anyone. And, this helps you to buy the brand names more affordably if you prefer them. (Also, the big brand name boxes often have coupons or reward points toward future purchases.)
What does your family buy in bulk?
I am NOT a couponer (I'll save that for another entry). But, I can feed our family on anywhere from $250-$400 a month, depending on the month, and this includes keeping a freezer chock FULL of meat, bulk food storage, loads of things on hand that enable me to bake whatever I want, usually, on a whim. We're not talking a bare bones budget. And I've had a lot of people ask me how I do it, and there's no way I can compile it into one entry, so I'll start with one thing that works for us, and occasionally add more to the blog as time goes on.
One of our favorite "tricks" is bulk shopping. Whether it be at a warehouse store, a local butcher, or the normal grocery store--there are certain items that are significantly cheaper to buy in bulk. HOWEVER, that being said, some times, it can cost you too much money and becomes wasteful if you do like we did once and buy a gallon of mayo you never actually use. It has to be items that you 1) use, and 2) are cheaper in the end in bulk--which means, you either need someone good at math with you in your shopping, or you're doing research/carrying a calculator with you. BUT, as someone who does all that, suck up the pride, whip out the pad and paper, and save some bucks in store.
Some suggestions for items to buy in bulk:
-25 lb. bags of flour or sugar. MUCH cheaper this way, and you can put them into an air tight bucket with a snap lid. Saves a TON of money this way, and you have it on hand in those times where you really want to bake something good.
-Honey. We buy our honey from local apiaries. Much cheaper than the cute little teddy bear jars. We pay about $7 for a few pounds of HOMEGROWN honey. Woot.
-Meat. If you have a freezer, and you use a lot of meat, this is for you. We buy from a local butcher, and the higher quality meat is actually cheaper than the cheap-o meat at the grocery store. Tip: buy only the meats you use regularly. We have about 10-15 pounds of bacon right now, and I learned really quickly, we don't use that much. It might end up going to waste. Frozen meat never expires in theory, but it can lose quality after a while. The USDA has guidelines for this.
-Cereal. If you have little ones, and the cereal is on sale, why not? We have about 6 boxes on hand at a time. We can also use it for snacks for our son, and not just as breakfast food. Cereal is often on sale if you buy 3-4 at a time, and this is one of the items I do admit to occasionally using a coupon on.
-Spices/baking powders, etc. Find a store in your area that sells spices in clear bulk containers. You would not believe the price difference in buying spices in bulk, especially the ones you use the most often. Can often save several dollars. Warehouse stores are good for this, too.
-Pasta. Doesn't go bad easily, and often on sale. Pasta is one of those staples that is good to have a lot on hand. You can buy big bags at places like Sam's Club...like 5 lbs. of macaroni for $5, or you can stock up during 10 for $10 sales at your grocery store.
-Canned goods you USE. Warehouse stores are exceptional in this capacity and allow you the luxury of having favorite brand names for the price of generics. Discount grocers can be good in this area, too.
-Pasta sauces/pizza sauces. Same as above. Grocery stores offer the best sales on these. Make sure you find a brand you like...I tend to be a bit pickier about my sauces, but that's just me.
-Paper goods. GO TO WAREHOUSE STORES FOR THIS. My butt now only accepts Charmin toilet paper, thank you very much, and thanks to Sam's Club, I get a ton of it for several bucks less in the end than at the normal grocery store.
-Ice cream (if you have a large freezer). It goes on sale a lot, and having a tub in the freezer can keep you from Dairy Queen in a pinch. Stores often offer sales if you buy 2 or 3 at a time, too, and ice cream is often BOGO free.
-Cheeses. Cheese freezes well, especially when shredded. Buy this at warehouse stores. Split the big bags into smaller freezer bags and freeze--then take out a couple cups at a time if needed.
-Bread. You can freeze loaves of bread for a couple months. Nice to have on hand in a sandwich emergency or when you are desperate for French toast.
-Macaroni and cheese boxes. Much cheaper, nearly anywhere, to buy the bulk packages. Comparison price if unsure about this. Also, brand name in bulk is often cheaper than generics.
-Brown sugar. I should have mentioned this earlier. You can't often find it in 25 lb. bags, but you can find 7-10 pound bags at warehouse stores, and it FREEZES WELL. It thaws in a short amount of time on a counter. I LOVE this trick.
-Tubs of sour cream and margarine. A good deal found at Sam's Club and Costco, if you use enough to justify it.
-Trash bags. Big boxes at warehouse stores (or places like Lowe's) save big money.
-Diapers and wipes. If you have little ones, trust me--buy the big boxes of these. Cheaper, and buying these in the middle of the night = no fun for anyone. And, this helps you to buy the brand names more affordably if you prefer them. (Also, the big brand name boxes often have coupons or reward points toward future purchases.)
What does your family buy in bulk?
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
10 Days of No Spending?
This might be a way for me to jump start a way out of bill juggling, and would be easier to do once the new baby is here since I won't have time to do anything anyway:
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/First-Person-10-Days-No-ac-3259266898.html
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/First-Person-10-Days-No-ac-3259266898.html
Juggling Act
My goal is to write something daily in this blog, for a number of reasons...
Debt reduction and learning to live within your means is a daily struggle. It's not going to magically change over night. Until other things change, I'll be putting some bills on credit cards for a while, past due on other things, so forth and so on, until some expenses are reduced, and I learn what to cut, what to add more to, and what to give up on.
Also, my husband and I have a very difficult time talking about finances. I am hoping that pouring my heart into a relatively neutral forum will not only help me to gain support from others, but to be more honest with him, which in turn will lead him to be more honest with me. The financial issues are mainly mine, but he too, as anyone is, is not perfect, and we both are working on trust and honesty in our marriage.
It also helps for others to see what someone else's thoughts are on a specific topic because I am more than certain I am not alone in my journey. I wish I could see the daily trials that others face concerning financial progress and improvement. It might help to motivate me to realize I am not alone in this battle, and I could learn ways to cope and improve upon myself.
Right now, today I want to discuss one of my biggest weaknesses--bill juggling. In our marriage, I took upon myself the entire system of budgeting (my own bastardized method) and bill paying. I'm really not sure why I do it. I have a bit of an anal thing when it comes to trust and a paranoia about bouncing checks for some reason. See, I've never bounced a check, and I'm proud of that....
But...
I am also an incredible bill juggler. I am aware of all grace periods, when collectors start calling, and when payments are reported to credit bureaus (and we have been reported a couple times). I pay our car payments in the grace period, the house payment before the 30 days comes up, the student loans before they go 60 days past due and get reported (though I set up a payment on time a couple weeks ago, and it refused to process it until day 62, so I'm a bit worried I was reported when I set the payment up on day 57...super not cool...I'll fight that one. We shouldn't be punished because their system is slow).
I'm sure you see a pattern, and I'm sure you can see the inherent problems.
This system is not foolproof. Computer systems can often bump you past due (as evidenced in my example). You pay an awful lot of late fees for the privilege of moving bills around. You make promises to pay something on "x day" to your spouse, decide it's OK to juggle it because you "know" you'll get it paid the next pay period, and then something comes up, and it doesn't happen, and you're made a liar, even with the best of intentions. You get tired of being the one perpetually past due, even just a little bit. You get tired of dealing with collection agencies on medical bills--even though they never actually "punish" you...just send stern letters, you pay, and once again are afforded an interest free loan, essentially, to pay a bill monthly with no hit on your credit report.
So, why do I do it? If it's so terrible, why do I do it?
I'm obsessed with this notion of having a "cushion" available. What is "cushion?" The knowledge I won't overdraft. The ability to eat out. The option to nickel and dime some money away on wasteful things, or, on the other hand, to be able to buy the random thing we need that we DIDN'T budget for.
And the thing is, I want to change, but the question I have is how? In order to catch up everything, I need to make extra payments on everything--basically get a month ahead on everything. And how do you do that on a tight budget? And how do you break the habits you've had for years that say it's OK to eat out or spend money because it's "only" 5 dollars here or ten bucks there?
I'm sure this need for "cushion" has also helped influence our credit card debt. It seems like free money at the time, but now, it's just extra payments added to everything which we didn't need, and all to be able to buy more "stuff" I can't even really account for.
There's no resolution or moral to this entry, no happy, wrapped up ending, just another day and another struggle I long to overcome, and hopefully, will.
Debt reduction and learning to live within your means is a daily struggle. It's not going to magically change over night. Until other things change, I'll be putting some bills on credit cards for a while, past due on other things, so forth and so on, until some expenses are reduced, and I learn what to cut, what to add more to, and what to give up on.
Also, my husband and I have a very difficult time talking about finances. I am hoping that pouring my heart into a relatively neutral forum will not only help me to gain support from others, but to be more honest with him, which in turn will lead him to be more honest with me. The financial issues are mainly mine, but he too, as anyone is, is not perfect, and we both are working on trust and honesty in our marriage.
It also helps for others to see what someone else's thoughts are on a specific topic because I am more than certain I am not alone in my journey. I wish I could see the daily trials that others face concerning financial progress and improvement. It might help to motivate me to realize I am not alone in this battle, and I could learn ways to cope and improve upon myself.
Right now, today I want to discuss one of my biggest weaknesses--bill juggling. In our marriage, I took upon myself the entire system of budgeting (my own bastardized method) and bill paying. I'm really not sure why I do it. I have a bit of an anal thing when it comes to trust and a paranoia about bouncing checks for some reason. See, I've never bounced a check, and I'm proud of that....
But...
I am also an incredible bill juggler. I am aware of all grace periods, when collectors start calling, and when payments are reported to credit bureaus (and we have been reported a couple times). I pay our car payments in the grace period, the house payment before the 30 days comes up, the student loans before they go 60 days past due and get reported (though I set up a payment on time a couple weeks ago, and it refused to process it until day 62, so I'm a bit worried I was reported when I set the payment up on day 57...super not cool...I'll fight that one. We shouldn't be punished because their system is slow).
I'm sure you see a pattern, and I'm sure you can see the inherent problems.
This system is not foolproof. Computer systems can often bump you past due (as evidenced in my example). You pay an awful lot of late fees for the privilege of moving bills around. You make promises to pay something on "x day" to your spouse, decide it's OK to juggle it because you "know" you'll get it paid the next pay period, and then something comes up, and it doesn't happen, and you're made a liar, even with the best of intentions. You get tired of being the one perpetually past due, even just a little bit. You get tired of dealing with collection agencies on medical bills--even though they never actually "punish" you...just send stern letters, you pay, and once again are afforded an interest free loan, essentially, to pay a bill monthly with no hit on your credit report.
So, why do I do it? If it's so terrible, why do I do it?
I'm obsessed with this notion of having a "cushion" available. What is "cushion?" The knowledge I won't overdraft. The ability to eat out. The option to nickel and dime some money away on wasteful things, or, on the other hand, to be able to buy the random thing we need that we DIDN'T budget for.
And the thing is, I want to change, but the question I have is how? In order to catch up everything, I need to make extra payments on everything--basically get a month ahead on everything. And how do you do that on a tight budget? And how do you break the habits you've had for years that say it's OK to eat out or spend money because it's "only" 5 dollars here or ten bucks there?
I'm sure this need for "cushion" has also helped influence our credit card debt. It seems like free money at the time, but now, it's just extra payments added to everything which we didn't need, and all to be able to buy more "stuff" I can't even really account for.
There's no resolution or moral to this entry, no happy, wrapped up ending, just another day and another struggle I long to overcome, and hopefully, will.
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