On Juggling, New Parenthood, and Making Changes

Well, we have officially entered the land of one income....
It didn't sting so hard at first because we had the hubby's summer bonus to work with, but, like everything, it gets spent fast. Once we had a pay cycle without two paychecks, I went to work like I always do, spending money we probably should be watching more carefully, and juggling bills.
For those who don't know me, I am very pregnant at the moment, and the other night, I wondered if I might be going into preterm labor, which is a pretty good way of snapping someone into reality when they need smacked with a figurative "spiritual 2 x 4," as my mom so eloquently describes it. Here I am, a life dominated by flashing red "PAST DUE" signs on nearly all aspects of my financial life, juggling bills, spending money needlessly, and all at the same time, waiting to bring a life in the world that is going to depend on me and my husband to provide for her well-being. We already have one child, and now we're going to two. What kind of example am I if they see me putting fast food and little purchases here and there in front of them? When will it end? When will I be able to spend ONE DAY not worrying about a past due bill?
I talked to my husband a bit about this last night--I struggle so much with relinquishing control of our financial situation--partly because I think I can fix it, partly because I struggle with trusting others, partly because I am ashamed to have someone else see the extent of my mistakes, and partly because I feel overwhelmed by the monumental task in front of me, and I think it's easier to keep on doing what you're doing when you're afraid than taking the steps to fix it (i.e. making changes).
SO, my husband, who has asked me to create a family bill list for, oh, months now, asked me to do so again, and I put it together this morning...a list of bills (rudimentary, but something we can spring from), due dates, and when I actually get around paying them (i.e. my juggling plan). It was hard to do...it was hard to say, "Here's just how badly I juggle bills. Here's how often I live my life in a state of lateness." But, I did it. I also called a local church counseling service and started the process to see her (we saw another counselor, not from our church, who was a great guy, but didn't offer us any advice as to how to PROGRESS...we felt he wanted more to talk), and I intend to ceremoniously cut up ONE of my credit cards tonight (no small feat for me).
I need to remember to be grateful. I need to remind myself that there are people who are MONTHS behind on their payments, not just a couple weeks, people who are losing their homes, declaring bankruptcy and the like. We're not there. But I never want to be. I never want to look back and see a house full of "stuff" and empty fast food wrappers in the trash, and wonder if I will lose that house, whether I have to basically get a government bailout to erase my mistakes instead of conquering them myself, whether my children will learn the same crappy habits I have. I don't want that. I want to be able to sleep at night, to be grateful for small things instead of comparing myself to others and what they have.
It won't be easy. It won't miraculously erase my debt right this second, it won't make bills current ASAP, and that's hard for someone who wants things done RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND...100% or not at all. But, it's a start. Every day, I need to strive to make more and more progress. And every day, I need to be grateful that things aren't worse, and that I can keep it that way.